Love

When you say I Love You today, are you saying this?

I am patient with you and kind to you even if I don't feel like being nice.
I don't want what I don't have.
I'm not better than you. I don't one-up everything you say with something I or someone else has done.
I don't fly off the handle at you.
I'm not pushy to get my way. I'll let you go first.
I don't keep track of all the times you hurt me and never tell you about it.
I do not get happy when you are down on your luck. I am glad to hear the truth from you even if it hurts my feelings.
I protect you and your interests. I don't blab to others when you tell me something.
I trust God to the ends of the earth.
I always hope for the best. If you say something that strikes me wrong, I'll first give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't mean it that way.
I will put up with anything and never look back. I love you forever.

It is better directly from God's Word:

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Don't feel bad if you aren't perfect. God isn't surprised! He made you! Accept yourself and accept others. Recognize where you are failing. Ask God to help you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask God to help you turn it around. Don't shut people down. If they love you, they'll turn it around, right? I tell myself this but I don't have the courage to actually confront anyone seriously. I'm so afraid of being hated. Other times though, I freely give my opinion when it doesn't even matter. Is that not ironic? God has been teaching me a lot about love. I am a miserable failure sometimes but I am so glad to have Grace from God and others given to me. I am so blessed. Thank you God!

Thomas the climber

Thomas climbed up on the blue chair at Nana's today. He stepped up our potty to use it as a step to turn on the faucet in the bathroom.

Drawing Class

I just registered for a beginner drawing class. I'm excited! I have never taken any class like this. Here's my materials list: Paper: •Newsprint or other cheap, expendable paper, 18” x 24” range •Drawing and/or sketching pad, 18” x 24” minimum. Strathmore or Canson archival, acid-free papers are good. Pencils: •Soft lead pencils, 6B to 8B •Woodless pencil, 8 or 9B is wonderful! •Charcoal or conte or whatever else you already have. Erasers: •Kneadable eraser •White plastic, like a Quicker Clicker from the drugstore Other/Optional: •Hand cleaner •Paper towels •Other papers you already have •Things to draw? A few additional supplies may be provided by or purchased for minimal cost from the instructor. Other supplies may be suggested later in the course.

Joanna painted my nails

Two days after Christmas, Joanna romped into the bathroom holding her new fingernail polish (real, yes) and told me she was going to paint my nails. She did. She was very meticulous and used her finger to wipe away any she got on my finger instead of the nail. I'm still wearing the polish, which, luckily is a very translucent pink.

She's been into her play makeup several times, but after the last time, I secretly put it up without saying a word. She had put the makeup all over her fingers in addition to her lips and eyes and nose. Cute, but sheesh.

In retrospect, I should have been more specific than 'fake makeup" when I meant the "plastic, play-dress-up makeup" that is actually solid plastic instead of real creamy makeup and real fingernail polish. I think now that she's had the real stuff, I doubt I'll get her to buy into any of the fake stuff. She's not all that bad with it, though! My nails look "o.k."

"Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” Mark 3:33 NIV.

I have been reading Mark and today this caught my eye. I am so grateful for the friends God has cultivated into my life. I realize that the reason I have such a fondness in my heart for some people is because God established our relationship, that it is based on truth and grace. It is different when Christians bond, I think. There is a foreverness about the relationship. There is true acceptance--truly recognizing the person, knowing their flaws, but not allowing the bad to overcome good by setting up appropriate limits. Being able to set a boundary with a person, Saying "I don't want to." "No." "Not so much." "Nah." "Maybe Later." "I can't." is met with appreciation (though disappointment), but not disgust or anger, hatred or angry outbursts. Sure it hurts to be told no, but the good times are made even better when there are good boundaries.

I feel loved by the people who tell me no and those whom I can say no to. I feel a grudge against those whom I feel compelled to say yes to. That's my problem, though and I really am working on it. It's not their fault, it's mine for not saying no when I needed to. I'm learning to forgive myself for that and accept that about myself, to recognize when it is happening again and try really hard to stop. One thing I've done is delay giving an answer or delay a response for a while.

Firsts

My first time giving a public testimony for the Lord was fantastic. The Lord has been teaching me about Love and healing for a while now. So, when I spoke to a group of prisoners, I just delivered a brief message about what I felt God wanted me to share about Love. We had several speakers who spoke of overcoming tragedies, hurts, and experiencing miracles. There were singers, interpretive sign to song, and prayer. It was so neat to see how each person delivered a message and it was recieved by someone who attended. It was also neat to be blessed so much in return. I "knew" I was in for a blessing. I have heard many teachings on blessing the giver recieves is often better than giving the gift. I don't know how much is appropriate to say about the trip itself online, so that's all I'm going to say. I will write down a summary of what I said, though! Everyone is familiar with the Ten Commandments, but Jesus gave* us two: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ...[and]... ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’" (Matt 22:37-39) There are three things here: Love God, Love your neighbor, (the same way you) Love yourself. 1. God Loves us so much... John 3:16. It is hard to imagine love like that when you have felt so unloved. God IS Love. He fills you up with love and teaches you how to love. 2. Love Yourself. You really need to learn how to love yourself. Give yourself a break. You are not perfect. God made you and he loves you. You do not need to be perfect so you should give your self a break when you fall short of how you wish you could be.* Jesus paid for our sin. 3. Love your Neighbor. You get God's love and learn how to love and accept yourself, you can understand how to love your neigbor as you love yourself. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Footnootes (Afterthoughts) ---------- *I should have said "summed them up with two" b/c he gave us the "go" commandment. *In context of what I said, I do not think anyone took what I said as permission to sin, so I hope the reader won't impose that view on this summary.

Thomas' First Hair Cut

I cut Thomas' hair today for the first time. He was really happy and unconcerned. He didn't fuss at all! I used the no. 5 guide on my clippers and went for it. My little boy is growing up!

Before:

After: